I have always been known as the type that is up front, obnoxious, and probably not too serious. Truth is, some of that helps me deal with my insecurities. But in turn, it does tend to create a stereotype. Now, as I see and feel God moving me in certain directions, the stereotype has created some hurdles that I must clear. Don't get me wrong. People are not lining up to point fingers and make jokes, but there is a degree of trust that has to be earned.
Starting out in ministry, my wife and I both felt God placing some specific things in our heart. Not and agenda, but rather a destination. Part of me wants to identify with Joseph, knowing something is coming that no one else sees. Then, I begin to think that such thoughts are arrogant, misplaced, or just totally...laughable. I have tried to protect my dream, only letting select people know so they can mentor and challenge me to make the changes necessary for the journey.
In my dream, I am not seeing the haystacks bowing down or any of that. (not sure what I would do with a bowing haystack) I just have this renewed sense of urgency. God is leaning on me to move out of my comfort zone, and kind of make myself vulnerable for people to...laugh. I find it interesting how I have always used humor hide insecurities, but now I'm afraid people might laugh at me, not recognizing growth and depth that God is leading me in.
You know, I believe God will still see this through as I do my part. That is why I am choosing to be proactive. No more sitting and waiting for God to do my part for me. I'm putting myself out there.
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